5 Reasons We Fail to Meet our Goals

Belize once said, “remove the stone and you won’t stumble.” I’ve been thinking about the stones that I keep stumbling over. Each and every time I really get behind an idea and go for it, I somehow get sidetracked and lose my momentum. Why is that? I think I’ve identified some of the main culprits.

1. Unrealistic expectations: Often we expect goals to happen the moment we set them. Or, we expect to instantly expect to be a new person after taking the first step in the right direction.

2. Dependent upon emotion: People are emotional. When a new idea is adoptive it has a strong emotional pull. Especially if the person see the idea as a solution to a problem that was depressing them. I think most people pull themselves out of a holiday funk by making New Year resolutions. But, those decisions are emotional and once the excitement wears off and reality sets in the resolutions are dropped.

3. Overwhelmed by commitment: In an article on goal setting, Steve Pavlina talks about people’s perception of time and how goals that do not immediately reward actions becoming overwhelming.

4. Establishing a plan “B”: I know it seems like a good idea to establish a plan “B” as a fall back if your original plan doesn’t work, but having an alternative plan suggest to your subconscious that your plan isn’t good enough and that you expect to fail.

5. Assuming you can maintain on autopilot: It is said that it takes 21 days to establish a habit. People often do great the first thirty days of their goals and assume that the habit has taken effect and they can now cruise on autopilot. Don’t let a habit fool you. Yes, you may have established a pretty good routine, but habits are strengthen by time and use and most habits that people seek to replace have been established for far longer than new ones. Turn away for too long and they will rear their ugly head. A successful new habit still requires daily and weekly assessments to ensure they stay on course.

I want to take a look in greater detail at each of these goal killers. In the next five articles I will examine them one at a time and try to identify ways to remove these stones.

New Obligations

One of my goals is to become a professional writer. I will not consider myself one until I able to leave my full time job and support my family from home. Today I took a step towards that goal. I signed a contract with 451press.com that will require me to write 5 posts a week, Monday through Friday, for a year.

I will be writing about step-parenting. I am a bit nervous, as it is a pretty long commitment and it requires very frequent postings. But, the way I see it, if I want to write I need to be committed and I need to have reason to write even on those days when I feel I have nothing to say. I figure that by the time I fulfill my obligations I will have established a pretty consistent habit of writing. And I will have a large portfolio of writing to show for future writing positions.

I am not sure when I will be required to post my first thoughts at 451press.com, but I will certainly update this site when the time comes.

Change of Perspective

Changing perspectives can sometimes bring us back into focus. I have not been contributing to this site regularly and nearly stopped all together. My attitude on personal development has been almost as sporadic. I would describe it more of a back swing of the pendulum. I had been so Gun ho about personal development that it was all I was talking about. I was spending hours and hours reading up on personal development. About a month ago I read Getting Things Done by David Allen and spent the next week trying to adopt it into my life. I created a hipster and went about getting things done. It really worked.

And then it all stopped. Most of my momentum was destroyed by spring break. My routine had been interrupted. I usually wake early in the morning and get my exercise on, then pack eat breakfast, pack the same old lunch and zoom off to work an hour early to do some writing before the students get there. I was doing great, and then the routine fell apart. I stayed up late during spring break and got up late, which meant that I didn't get up for my exercise, which led to a break down of all other positive things I had been doing for myself.

I was having a hard time turning the momentum around once again. Nothing was working. So I stopped altogether. I didn't like feeling guilty so I stopped worrying about it and turned to other concerns. I switched my perspective from myself to my children. One of the problems with not exercising and doing positive things to help yourself along is that you become more stressed. My stepdaughter is really good and escalating that stress to new levels. I was ready to give up on her and go into hiding whenever I was at home. But, before I did that I started reading up on step parenting and found some incentive to try working with her a little more.

I felt better, so I returned to learn more about step parenting. I learned more and more and as I sought new ways to be a better parent I once again realized that I must better myself. So, I started writing again. My alarm is set nice and early. I started a new blog Growing Up With The Kids. And I'm moving again in the right direction.

Lesson Learned

I haven't posted in a while. I actually hadn't planned on doing any more postings. I was spending too much time researching how to blog and trying to promote the blog. I wasn't working on my novel. I wasn't doing much of anything except trying to get the blog up and running. I decided to take a hiatus. Then something else happened. My grandfather died and I got caught up in doing some soul searching about the things that are really important in my life.

My grandfather's funeral had a huge impact on me. I learned that the church the funeral mass was held in was designed by him and the land donated by his father. I grew up in a nearby city, but we always went to that church for Christmas Mass. All the times I had been there I never knew that my grandfather had designed it. If it weren't for my family the church and the attaching school would not be there. I found it strange that no one in my family mentioned this to the grandchildren. Imagine not taking credit for a place given to the people so that they could worship, get baptised, and get married.

I also learned that my grandfather taught celestial navigation. I think of all the times I had gone to my grandfather's cabin in northern Michigan and looked out upon clear night skies and never knew that he could have taught me about the stars.

I had to learn about both of these things by reading the obituary. I wish I had had a chance to learn about them from my grandfather. I observed pictures of his life and witnessed many, many people come to pay their respects. I've been to a few funerals in my time, but I can't recall one as large as this. He must have been an amazing man. I tried remembering all I knew about him. I recall that we grandchildren were always kept in line by being told, "You don't want grandpa getting mad." It was enough to put us in line. Looking back on those days, I honestly can't recall seeing my grandfather angry or hearing him raise his voice. I don't know if any of the grandchildren had any tangible reason to believe that we really didn't want grandpa getting mad, but we all did. He had an air of authority that even the most naive child understood. How? I don't know or I would certainly use it with my students. Maybe its an earned authority you only get after you've raised eight children. Maybe he learned it in the military.

I observed the hole he left in the lives of many people. I may not know much about my grandfather, but I can see the lasting impression he will have and I can recognize a few amazing things.

First, he had eight children. All of them still lived near him and all of them were there for him during the roughest final months. Few families can still stay that close these days, even fewer are so dedicated to each other that they can take as much time from their own lives to see that their father was cared for during his final days. This is as much a testament to him as it is to the solid and loving relationship he maintained for sixty years.

Second, he had such an abundance of grandchildren that all of his pallbearers were grandsons by blood. On top of this he had more grandchildren in attendance. These same grandchildren had gotten together just days before he died to take a picture showing the very large family including great-grandchildren. Nearly sixty people were in the photo, all were lives directly touched by him.

Third, as I said before the church that hosted his funeral mass was designed by him. Long after I am gone from this world people will still worship in the church designed by him. I think most people would consider themselves fortunate if they can touch one life beyond their own. My grandfather has eight children, numerous grandchildren and great-grandchildren that will remember him. Someday perhaps those great-children will marry in the church he designed and yet another generation will be in some way touched by his life. How is that for a legacy?

Here is the lesson I learned: a legacy is all that we can leave behind. It is the final testament that we existed and mattered on this earth. Each of us has a purpose in this life, but not everyone of us recognizes that purpose. Those that recognize their purpose and choose to live for that purpose usually leave the longest lasting legacies.

Have you discovered your purpose in life? What will be your legacy?

An Apology to All Who Submitted to the Blog Carnival

I am extremely new to blogging and carnivals and I must apologize for my lack of technical knowledge. I have been trying to edit the carnival since last Friday and as a result when I posted here, the post actually came before the last two posts I've made. Please scroll down to the to the Apil 3rd issue and check it out. I am trying to get this issue resolved.

The Real Secret Behind "The Secret": Why the Law of Attraction Will Fail

Shhh, here's a secret. "The Secret" isn't a secret any more. Thanks to Oprah and Ellen and a million other's out there you can't visit a site about personal development without finding something about the Law of Attraction. It is certainly an exciting concept. Who wouldn't like to believe that all they have to do is picture their pockets full of money and then presto! Publisher's Clearing House is knocking on your door.

I certainly wouldn't mind something like that happening, but something doesn't' feel right. I'm Catholic and perhaps it's all that guilt they instill in us, but as I think more and more about it I begin to believe that the Church probably would not condone practicing the Law of Attraction. I have been researching this for a while and as of yet I haven't seen any official stance. The more I keep researching and thinking about the Law of Attraction the more I'm certain it not only goes against Christian doctrine, it fails logically.

Please don't take this wrong. I am not making any claims that the Law of Attraction is morally wrong. After all, it does teach people to think good thoughts and you will attract good things., because good things happen to good people and bad things happen to bad people. There's nothing wrong with thinking good thoughts. But, as a christian I already see a major flaw.

The first part of Christianity is Christ. I know of know one else that thought, talked and walked in good thoughts more than He. Yet Jesus seems to have had a lot of bad things happen to him. Did he then do good things for the wrong reason? Is that why he was betrayed, beaten, humiliated, and crucified? Maybe he isn't the best example. He became man to die for us. So, it could be argued that this is what he intended. What about the saints that followed in his footsteps. Matthew? He met a tragic end. Mark? Tragic end. Luke? Tragic end? John? thrown into prison. Even the four writers of the Gospel seem to have met with some difficult despite all that they thought, talked and walked.

Maybe things have changed since then and some more contemporary models should be considered. Martin Luther King, Jr., had a dream and I think he made his intentions quite clear. He championed peace and was rewarded with a bullet. Mahatma Gandhi, sought for civil rights and preached peace. His reward? His wife died while she was in prison. He caught malaria while in prison and in the end was assassinated.

If this is the Law of Attraction in action, if some of the greatest teachers of "good" and "positive" thoughts met with such tragedy how can we expect any better? What might the Law of Attraction have to offer to those of us that don't achieve sainthood? Sounds absolutely frightening to me.

Let us throw out these examples for a minute. Let us look at this from a different angle. What if the Law of Attraction really is a law? What if everybody got everything they wanted? What then? I am guessing that there is one person in the world that really wants to become the supreme ruler of Earth. Somewhere right now, some ambitious soul is looking at a globe, focusing on making everything it represents as his own. Let us call this person, Brain after the aspiring dictator from Pinky and the Brain. Are we doomed to be the subject of Brain? According to the law, we are if he wants it bad enough. Everybody say, "Heil Brain".

Wait, what if there are two people.? What if Brain has competition? Does it come down to a question of who wants it more? Certainly not. Because then, our intentions can be thwarted by another and we are subject to their will and not our own. So then, according to the Law, Brain would rule the world and so would his challenger,(we'll call him Pinky) Both Pinky and Brain can't be the supreme ruler of the world at the same time, or by definition they aren't the supreme ruler. How then does this get resolved? Does a second world manifest to comply with this? Which one then is the real world? We are still left with the problem that only one of them actually got the real world and the other just gets a copy. The complications of this are far beyond the scope of my knowledge, but I'm pretty certain that we would need multiple dimensions to explain it.

If the example of aspiring dictators is too absurd, let's look at the problem from a more mundane circumstance. Pinky and Brain both desire the same woman to be their wife. They don't desire to share her in a polygamous relationship. So, once again either one is thwarted or two of the same woman must become manifest. Same problem on a smaller scale.

I see another problem, the Law of Attraction seems to claim that we are products of our thoughts. This is a nice thought. It makes it easy avoid the desire to help those less fortunate than us. If someone is suffering from disease or poverty you need not feel sympathy for them. After all, it's their own thoughts that have brought about their condition. Then again, what about the babies that are victims of child abuse and neglect? How can a child that has no vocabulary or concept of positive and negative manifest the evil that is brought upon them?

At what point in a human's life does the Law of Attraction begin? Is it present at birth? Or, do we receive some supernatural permit when we reach a certain age? Who or what determines the proper age? If it is a universal law then shouldn't it be in effect all the time? Again, this means that a victimized baby has caused its own misery.

By definition, a "Law" has to be simple, true, universal, and absolute. The above scenarios are not exactly simple. Go back to the idea of multiple people desiring a monogamous marriage to a particular person. How many worlds must be made manifest in order to fulfill the intentions of Pamela Anderson's fans? And then what about her will? Does she a get a say in all this? These complications fail the criteria of simple and true. Gravity, is simple and true. You drop a rock it falls, it doesn't matter who drops the rock or how many people drop rocks. They all fall, no matter where you are at and no matter how many times you drop them. This is a prime example of simple, true, universal, and absolute.

Let's look at the baby example again, if the Law is universal and absolute then babies must be at fault for their conditions, even though they are incapable of defining their situations. Or, they are not at fault for their conditions and the "Law" isn't universal. If a baby drops a rock, the rock falls. This is universal.

What about the fourth criteria? A law must be absolute. Absolute means that every time an idea is intended for manifestation it must happen. It therefore should happen regardless of what actions are taken. If you asked someone that believes in The Law of Attraction, "I have been thinking about winning the lottery every day. I picture the winning numbers and everything. Why then haven't I one." The first question they are going to ask you is, "Have you bought a ticket?' If the law is absolute then the ticket should have become manifest without action. This is a minor detail, there is a far more dangerous implication we must consider.

The Law of Attraction, basically states that we make manifest our thoughts by tapping into the energy of the universe and this "energy" is God. As a Christian this is totally unacceptable. The idea that God is the energy of the universe is the same as saying God is everything in the universe? In other words, we are dealing with Pantheism. A heresy in all areas of Christian faith. God is apart from energy. God created energy. Furthermore, if the law is absolute then any demand we make on the universe must be fulfilled. And, if God is the universe then any demand we make must be fulfilled by God. This then means, that God has no will in the matter. If He is not free to choose whether He will fulfill the demand or not then He is a slave to our intentions. If He does have the freedom to choose, then the law is not absolute.

So, if the Law of Attraction isn't simple, it's not true, it's not universal, and it isn't absolute, then can it even be called a law?

I think it is merely a well marketed, but misguided attempt to explain the slug bug phenomena. The slug bug phenomena is based on a traveling game, where the participants actively seek out Volkswagen Beetles (bug) in order to be the first to call it out and get a chance to get a free hit (Slug) on one of the other participants. It is actually a phenomena brought about by the lateral geniculate nucleus (LGN). The LGN is a part of the brain that acts as a relay station between outside stimulus and what is perceived. It acts kind of like an executive assistant. The executive tells the assistant not to bother him with certain information and then the assistant filters out information that the executive doesn't need. The assistant plays a very important role, because without the filtering the executive would be overloaded with information and wouldn't be productive.

The LGN works the same way. We are so inundated with stimulus that if we actually tried to process everything going on around us we would have a meltdown. Try this with someone, ask them to focus on a particular color in the room. Tell them to remember everything they can that contains that color. After they have been given a few seconds to take it all in, have them close their eyes and then name everything of a different color. They will probably laugh and say that wasn't fair and more importantly they will have a hard time remembering very many objects. The reason: the LGN was told to look for everything of one color and it filtered out all other colors. The same thing happens when you play the slug bug game. All of the sudden VW bugs are everywhere. Just because there seems to be more out there it doesn't mean there actually is. You haven't manifested more VWs and their drivers. Instead, your LGN is now allowing previously filtered information to pass.

I believe the idea of synchronicities that take place when people try to follow the Law of Attraction is a similar effect. When you tell yourself that you are going to have that shiny new car, your LGN is going to be looking for ways to make it happen. It has nothing to do with tapping into some great power of the universe. You are not making demands of God. It isn't a law. It is just a tool for focusing on goals.

If we drop the mystical aspects of the Law of Attraction and use the idea of focusing on our goals and thinking in a positive manner, then I am all for it. But, when we make demands on the universe and expect the universe to reciprocate we are deluding ourselves at best and falling into pantheistic heresy at worse.

April 2nd, Update on My Health Goals

I weighed myself this morning. I weighed in at 264 pounds. The batteries in my scale died a while ago and so my last measurement had been on a doctor's scale. At that time I was at exactly 275 pounds. This causes a little bit of an accuracy problem because I am using two scales. I figure a five pound difference in either direction is probably a safe margin of error. That being the case. I lost anywhere from 6 to 16 pounds since I weighed in at the doctor's office. From now on I will be weighing myself on my home scale, so that I have a little more consistency.

The good news is that I have lost weight following the plan. Six pounds would be right about where I ought to be. Sixteen pounds would put me way ahead of schedule. I am not going to concern myself too much with that actual amount I lost. The important thing is that I'm moving in the right direction. So let me take a look at what is working.

First, I have built success into my schedule. Every day I have three opportunities to exercise. I wake at 5 am and exercise that time. I exercise during my lunch. And then I walk to the park with my son and the dog in the evening. The last doesn't always happen as it is dependent on the weather. I consider it bonus exercise. The other two exercises are almost a given. The only way I miss my morning exercise is if I fail to crawl out of bed in time. On occasion I do have some distraction at lunch, but this is rare and I can usually get in a half-hour walk. With three scheduled times for exercise the odds of not exercising are slim. I am bound to make at least one and usually I make two if not all three times. This is certainly helping me feel better and keeping me motivated.

Second, I turned my diet into a series of scheduled feedings. I created a diet packed with nutrition that requires me to eat every two hours. If I eat everything on the diet I have consumed around 2500 calories. I am actually consuming 400 calories less than what is required for a moderately active man of about 190 pounds. I recently came across an article, by Debra Moorhead, called How I lost 25 Pounds in One Month, that discusses using the caloric intake of the weight you want to be and then setting your diet according to those numbers. It is basically what I did, but this is a much simpler way to come up with the number of calories to consume than how I originally calculated them. I used the suggestions to help my wife come up with a number for own diet (Not that she needs it, but she asked.) I spoke of my diet as a series of scheduled feedings. It sounds like I am an animal at the zoo or something, but I like it. It changes my mind set, makes me see food not as a treat or reward, but as source of fuel and necessary for achieving my other goals. I eat almost the same thing every day, which reinforces the food as fuel idea. As long as I eat when I'm supposed to, I don't feel hungry. But, if I am even a half-hour late, my body knows it.

Third, I am drinking lots of water. I started drinking more water at the beginning of the year. I read up on the benefits of drinking water to help reduce anxiety attacks and so I decided to find a way to ensure that I was getting the required amount of water each day. I found a bottle that was exactly half of what was required and made a commitment to filling it twice a day and consume every drop. The bottle has become a personal accessory that is almost always with me. The water bottle replaced the pop bottles that were always with me. I found that I am filling the bottle three times a day, sometimes four. Drinking this much water is important. Now, I know that when I feel hungry I am actually hungry and not dehydrated.

Armed with a triple attack on the exercise, a simple feeding schedule, and a handy water bottle I am feeling certain that next Monday I can report even more success and that feels good.

My Spiritual Goals-Going Back to Church

I am not sure if "spiritual" is the proper terminology. I hear so many people describe themselves as "spiritual but not religious." Meaning, they believe in some greater spirit, but not necessarily God. Or, they mean they do believe in God but they don't attend any church or subscribe to any particular denomination.

At one point or another in my life I have fallen into both of the categories above. It was a progression for me. When I was in college and believed that an intelligent person couldn't possibly believe in God I wouldn't even admit in a greater spirit. Fortunately for me, I wrote a senior paper on C.S. Lewis and discovered a very intelligent man that convinced me that it was possible for an intelligent person to believe.

I grudgingly admitted that a greater spirit might exist and then moved on to identifying this greater spirit as God. I was still lost. I grew up Catholic, but was not sure if Catholicism was right for me. What exactly does that mean? I started my search for a place of worship with the wrong question. I was comparing how various dogma compared with my lifestyle rather than looking for what church has Authority. Unfortunately, I never found anything written by Lewis to help me with this question. For many reasons, I chose to return to Catholicism. (The reasoning behind it could fill a whole post on its own, so I won't go into detail here.)

Now that I have returned to Catholicism, I know the practices that I ought to follow and I know the importance of putting God first in my life, but I still am not doing it. Putting God first, is how I would describe being spiritual. It is the act of living your life according to the principals taught by Jesus. It is being thankful for each moment of your life, taking time to recognize your blessing and give thanks. It is taking time to reflect on your actions and compare your choices with what you ought to have done. It is taking time to learn more about what that "ought to do" really is. In other words, go to church and learn something that day.

My problem, as I'm sure it is with most people, is finding time to do this. I work full time and then come home and watch my baby son while Mom goes to work. The weekends are spent doing the same thing. On top of work and watching the baby, I have to find time to write; exercise; do the budget; cook dinner; learn more about blogging; create posts; research personal development, finances, fitness and health. I wake at 5 in the morning to get in as much of this as possible before work so that the time I spend with my son in the evenings isn't littered with distractions. Where do I fit God in?

The answer is easy: everywhere. He's already there anyways, right? When I wake in the morning bright and early I can take 3 seconds to say thanks for the day and acknowledge that God is with me. I can thank God for the meal I am preparing or when I eat it. I can thank God of the job that allows me to pay the bills and ask Him to guide us through the tough times. I can thank God for the health I have that allows me to exercise each morning. I can ask for inspiration when write. I can take my son to church on Sunday--it is still quality time that I get to spend with him and Him. I could go on...

My goals then:
1. Give thanks for the day every morning for thirty days.
2. Increase my attendance at church. I am going to shoot for 3 out of 4 Sundays this month.
3 Find one challenge each day and give thanks for it.
4. Reflect on God, faith, Christianity, etc..in a post once a week.

Perhaps these goals are rather weak. Believe me,it is much more than I have been doing. The main thing is that I take a step forward in my faith.

Welcome to the April 3, 2007 Edition of Personal Renaissance

Welcome to the April 3, 2007 edition of personal renaissance.

Health

Vahid Chaychi presents Health and Happiness Formula posted at Healthoma.com.

Ririan presents Cheat Death and Grow Younger With These 44 Longevity Tips posted at Ririan Project.

ISPF presents Stay Fit - Without Spending a Dime posted at Grad Money Matters.

Inspiration

Albert Foong presents How to Live Consciously and Powerfully posted at The Teachings of the Urban Monk.

Alex Shalman presents Seven Questions That Will Change Your Life posted at Self Help.

Karen Lynch presents No Matter What posted at LivethePower, saying, "Follow your Passion, No matter what!"

Wanda Grindstaff presents Creating Abundant Lifestyles: The Power of Word posted at Creating Abundant Lifestyles Begin With Abundance Mindset, saying, "Thoughts and words all come from emotion, but there are times when emotion controls not only our words but our thoughts and bring about some very negative results for us."

Brandon Peele presents Siritual Autolysis posted at Generative Tranformation.

Writing

Jonathan Pippenger presents The Tragic Hero No Writer Wants to Create- 3 Ways to Avoid It. posted at Jonathan Pippenger, saying, "Three ways to make sure your character's story gets written."

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The Tragic Hero No Writer Wants to Create- 3 Ways to Avoid It.

If you are at all like me you probably have a couple of incomplete stories stuffed away somewhere. Some poor character is stuck in story limbo. Once they were the embodiment of your creative mind, now they are just a dust coated after thought, a story untold. Truly, a more tragic fate for a character could not be written. Even if a character must die, it is better to have completed their story than to just lay forgotten on the page.

What caused this tragedy? How can we save our heroes (and our villains) from this fate?

I pulled out a few of my unfinished stories the other night and sought for a reason why I didn't finish them. I came up with three reasons: One, a "better" story idea came to mind. Two, I began to doubt if the story was any good. Three, I got bored.

Coming up with why I didn't finish them was a great start, but that isn't enough to spare these characters from the worst of fates. To spare them, I completed each of their stories. Strangely, they all came to the same ending, "Suddenly a meteor came crashing through the atmosphere obliterating all life...the end." No, not a satisfying end. But, for those poor characters it was a resolution. In honor of those poor, tragic souls I have come up with three ways to protect future characters from the same fate.

Keep a notebook for new ideas
Your brain is relentless. It is always coming up with new ideas. Each new idea always seems like the best idea when it is first born. Wonderful, write it down and then set it aside. Keep going on the story you're writing. Even if every instinct tells you that your latest idea is the greatest every created, just write the idea down and then return to the first story. If it is the greatest story, it will still be the greatest story after you've completed the one your working on. A good story involves immersion from the author, once the author steps outside of the story to begin a new one it is almost always too difficult to return. The story becomes forgotten and we have a tragedy.

Don't fight doubt
From time to time your inner critic is going to whisper in your ear that the story you a writing is no good. I imagine that even the best author's have moments of doubt like this. Most of the time all it takes is a little mental "shushing" and the critic goes away. But sometimes, the critic seems to have a chip on its shoulder and no matter how much you argue with it the doubt won't go away. Stop fighting. Open up a new page on your word process or turn to a blank sheet in your notebook and let the critic say whatever it has to say. Get it all out on paper. When nothing new seems to be getting said, calmly ask the critic, "Anything else?" If there is, continue recording it, then ask the question again. When nothing else can be said, just exit out of the page without saving it or toss out the page. Don't make a big deal out of, don't get defiant. Just discard it as if it were nothing and return to your story.

Write every day
One of the hardest things to overcome in a story is boredom. Once boredom sets in then writing the story become a chore. Nobody likes chores. One of the easiest ways to get bored with a story is walking away from it for a couple of days. If you aren't immersed in your story you will grow bored. Even if you are disciplined enough to return to the story and write it to completion the boredom will show. Your readers will become bored. Stay involved in the story. Every day write something about it. Even if you have obligations for the entire day, you owe it to yourself and the characters in your story to devote a minimum of ten minutes to writing. Those ten minutes will be enough to re-read the last page you wrote and write a paragraph or two. It forces you to stay in the story a little longer, hopefully long enough to get you to an extended chunk of time where you can really enter your work. If you can't find ten minutes in any given day, you seriously need to consider whether writing is something you should be doing. You owe it to the your characters. Let their story be told.

My Writing Goals

This is the goal that excites me the most. I have carried a desire to write for a long, long time. I started my first novel when I was 2o and wrote over 450 handwritten pages. I lost the article during a move and have had a difficult time getting myself to write another story. For years I have alternated between trying to rewrite the story or start a new one. I start one, stop, start another, decide to go back to the other and so on. I started a new story a few months ago and I have committed myself to writing it.

I have two goals for writing.

1. I will make at least $6,000 from writing over the next twelve months.
2. I will finish my novel and submit it to 10 agents by December 31st, 2007.

In order to achieve my goals,I have established a daily schedule for writing. Monday through Friday I come into work early and spend 45 minutes to an hour writing every day. I alternate between the novel and posts.

I make it imperative to complete three posts each week and write a minimum of seven pages in the novel each week. One page a day on the novel is not a whole lot, but if I only make the minimum I still will have 365 pages written at the end of the year. I tend to get a couple extra pages written on the weekends and on vacations, so I am confident that I can get the story written.

I also need to start making money from my writing in order to make an extra $6000. I am looking at earning some of it from the blog and for the next 30 days I will be applying to a minimum of two freelance jobs per day unless I get more jobs than I can handle.

Check with me in 30 days to see how the two-a-day application process has worked.

Spring is the Time for a Renaissance

Yesterday we had a record high temperature for March. It reached 81 degrees here in Michigan. I, like many of fellow Michiganders, put on shorts as soon as I got home and took my pasty white legs outside. There is something about the coming of the spring that makes people appreciate a walk out of doors. I see it every year. Michigan's warm weather comes in short little teases. We have a day or two of exceptionally warm weather and then we get a day of snow. As soon as temperatures hit the mid 50's the shorts come out and everybody laughs at the absurdity of those pale legs, but we are happy and we appreciate taking a walk or just getting outside. Then the temps dip again and everybody hides indoors, grumbles to themselves and wishes for another day like yesterday.

But, as soon as we get a week of good days, we stop going outdoors. We stop appreciating the opportunity to take a walk. And we hide ourselves indoor and complain about our air conditioning bills. Somehow we forget that surge of joy we received from getting outside and enjoying a renewal of life. We notice the buds on the trees, but we fail to note when leaves first unfurl and we forget about them again until it is time to rake them and the year comes to its natural end.

I feel that we ought to learn from the joy we receive when we step outside and appreciate natures renaissance, the season of rebirth. Why can't we have a spring all year long? What is spring, but a renewal of life? I am in the midst of renewing and recreating my life. I have identified areas that I feel have stagnated, gone dormant, etc... and I intend to rekindle those areas by seeking excellence within them. There is always some area that I can improve, which means there is always an opportunity to bring spring into my life.

I am fortunate that I can start my renaissance here in the spring time. I can't go to my car without getting a reminder of what renewal is like. I know that joy that comes from the starting of life. But, we don't have to wait for those warm days to experience spring. I know, living in Michigan that there is still a cold day or two coming, but it won't stop me from finding a new way to spark life into my world.

What is your renaissance?

Money On My Mind

In my first post I said that I would be creating a financial goal as I am currently living paycheck to paycheck, yet I want to put my kids through college and I want to retire when I am fifty. Phew! I am going to have to be a major turn around.

I hardly no where to begin, but I know that I must begin. I have been doing some research for the last few days on various ways to achieve my goals. I will discuss these later, the first thing I need to do is establish some goals. So here are my goals for the next twelve months:

1. Create and maintain a zero-based budget for 30 days.
2. Evaluate zero-based budget for effectiveness, repeat if it works or try new strategy if it does not.
3. Increase my household income by $1,000 a month within six months.
4. Increase my household income by $3,000 a month within 12 months.
5. Pay off all hospital bills and outstanding bills within six months.
6. Pay off both cars within 12 months.
7. After cars are paid off allocate all money that was allocated to hospital bills and cars and invest in CDs for college savings.
8. Research effective saving and investment strategies and become familiar with retirement programs.

Now, to achieve these goals I have to create additional income. How am I going to do this? I took an idea from Steve Pavlina, you are looking at it. My blog. (Check out "How to make money from your blog.")I intend to give anyone interested in going through their own renaissance a look into my world as I experiment with the tools and suggestions from pd experts and enthusiasts. I intend to give the reader an honest account of my experience. And provide insight into why I found success or failure. It is my hope that people will appreciate and learn from my suggestions and hopefully I can establish some on-line relationships with others interested into transforming theirs lives.

For those interested in seeing people better themselves I ask for your help. Offer the occasional world of encouragement, send me links to ideas you think might be effective or that I ought to try, and help spread this blog. The bigger this grows the more time I will have to try new 30-day trials.

Speaking of 30-day trials. Last night my started creating a zero-based budget and are going to implement it starting April 1st. We ran out of time before 10:00 and we were getting a bit frustrated, so we decided to stick with the suggestions we found at "Getting Finances Done." If anyone is looking to start their own budget with their spouse I recommend reading, "3 keys to making your personal fiances work as a couple." We plan to finish it tonight and then I will make sure to update you throughout the month of April on how it goes.

Grad Money [ Matters ]: 7 Steps That Made Me Debt-Free

Grad Money [ Matters ]: 7 Steps That Made Me Debt-Free

Life is a Journal - Self Help For Lazy People! Now with added Life Hacks: How to Handle Aging or How not to become like the actors in Star Trek ..

Life is a Journal - Self Help For Lazy People! Now with added Life Hacks: How to Handle Aging or How not to become like the actors in Star Trek ..

Don't Worry, Be Active (My Experience With Anxiety)

The Onset of my downfall
Six years ago I had my first panic attack. I had heard the words "panic attack" and part of me thought I might be experiencing one, but the more desperate part of me thought I was having a heart attack. I was twenty-five and thought I was about to die. I was all alone. I was embarrassed. I thought it was almost impossible that someone my age could be experiencing a heart attack. For well over an hour I tried different ways to alleviate the symptom. I tried breathing into a paper bag. I tried reading, but couldn't concentrate. I tried to distract myself with TV, video games, I called up a friend "just to talk"--nothing helped.

I was just as afraid of a hospital bill as I was dying of a heart attack so I hung on and waited. When I could take it no more I decided I would drive to the hospital, at least I wouldn't be charged for an ambulance. I made it about a half mile and I was certain that I was going to pass out. I pulled into the parking lot of a pharmacy and asked the clerk to call for an ambulance. They did so, and I waited for an ambulance to come. I never passed out. When the drivers got there, they talked to me for a couple of minutes and told me they would take me to the hospital if I wanted, but I wasn't displaying any real signs of a heart attack. They told me it was just anxiety.

I was embarrassed, but at least my symptoms were fading. I drove home and told no one about the episode. I didn't experience another attack for almost a year. After the second attack I started experiencing them regularly. I visited the hospital three more times. All with the same diagnosis. I was experiencing chest pains and a numbness in my left arm. I was certain that there was something seriously wrong with me. My doctor scheduled a stress test and ruled out any heart complications. But nothing, except suggestions that I might have thoracic outlet syndrome, was identified. The attacks were coming more regularly. I couldn't afford to go to the hospital each time an attack came on. But, each time one did come I wondered if this time it might really be a heart attack. Should I wait it out? I spent many a night laying on the shower floor, because the heat form the falling water helped mask the sensations. My doctor finally prescribed anxiety medicine and they helped reduce the length and severity, but they didn't prevent them.

Something had to change....

How I learned to control the attacks

There were about several things that fell into place for me.

First, I looked up anxiety attacks and learned that they are just a natural "fight or flight" response gone wrong. The actual experience, if you look at it from a fitness standpoint is actually good for you. Your body experiences a caloric burn equivalent to a good aerobic workout. Despite how terrifying the feeling actually is, it is basically harmless.

Second, I learned that anxiety attacks can be brought on by caffeine, by poor diet and exercise, and dehydration. I started a 30-day trial. I cut back my coffee to two to three cups in the morning (I drank a lot of coffee), I bought a container that was exactly half of the recommended amount of water and committed myself to draining it at least twice a day. I committed to exercising a minimum of 30 minutes a day. And I stopped eating fast food and only ate meals that I cooked myself.

Third, I stopped trying to avoid the panic. (I wish I could find the site I learned this from, because there is some great information) Instead, whenever the sensations began I would quietly say "bring it on" and force myself to examine what specifically I was feeling and then try to describe that pain in detail.By the time I had identified several places where I was experiencing slight pains or tension the panic usually started to fade. After a couple of weeks of going through this process the attacks stopped.

I know that all the elements, including diet and exercise, I described above are necessary, because after I hurt myself moving I stopped following the diet and exercise portion and within two months the attacks began again. I couldn't control them just by acknowledging what I was feeling. I had to return to a strict diet and exercise program. I am just now getting back under control.

If anyone has any other suggestions on how to control anxiety I'd love to share them. Drop me a line at jonathanpippenger@gmail.com or leave a comment.

On Becoming Less Of A Man: Bigger Is Not Always Better

I could give you any number of excuses as to why I'm overweight. I am big boned. My metabolism is slow. I've always been heavy. Should I go on?

The truth is: I consume more calories than my body burns. I've been doing so for thirty years. As a result, I fit in that category of people the doctor's label "obese". Not a label I ever desired to have, but there it is. I've been denying this label for years. The only time I look in the mirror is to shave. I only see my face, it makes it easier to overlook those pounds that continue to build. I avoid camera's-at least I try. Since the birth of my son, it has become much more difficult to stay out of pictures. When I saw the first of those pictures I was utterly amazed at how big I have become. I have had the exact opposite condition of an anorexic. My image of myself is much thinner than reality. How many of you experience this?

My health is going down hill and it is gaining speed. I have headaches almost every day. I experience back pain. I have leg cramps. I have sleep apnea, which requires that I sleep using a CPAP. I get light headed and go numb in the arm. Because of these problems, I have started experiencing anxiety attacks. I had a medical exam to see if I have heart problems, I don't, but it doesn't stop the attacks. I have prescriptions for Xanax and Ativan. At one point I was taking Ativan three times a day every day. I was experiencing anxiety attacks so much that I began taking the medicine before the attacks because just the fear of experiencing one triggered attacks. My doctor's switched me to Xanax, shortly after that. I hated the thought of taking these kinds of medications, but I couldn't function without them. So, I started researching anxiety. I needed a way to control it without medicine. I am certain that the major cause of my anxiety is my poor health. I decided to take control. How? Exercise.

Last November I came across an article by Steve Pavlina called "30 Days to success." It suggests giving any goal you want to achieve a 30 day trial. I recommend checking out the link. In my opinion this is the single most powerful personal growth tool I have come across. It is the most suggestive of action. Most tools require sitting still, visualizing what you want, writing goals. This one is simple. You pick one action you want to do and then you do it for thirty days.

I decided that I would exercise for thirty minutes a day on my exercise bike. I wasn't going to worry about if I'm doing the right exercises, if I ought to be taking breaks or doing more. I was simply going to do it. On the second day of my 30 day trial I realized that I had gone a full day without taking any anxiety pills. So, I made this a second challenge. For thirty days, I came home, hugged my son, kissed my wife, then disappeared for 30 minutes and rode the bike. For thirty days, I didn't take the anxiety pills. By the sixth day, I noticed that my anxiety attacks were mild and minimal (More on controlling anxiety in another post.) The result of the 30-day trial, was a resounding success. I lost weight (too much,too quickly), felt better, and controlled my anxiety without medication. Then came Christmas.

I moved houses between Christmas and New Year's. I moved almost every item from one house to the other with no other assistance than a dolly. I wound up hurting my back. I stopped exercising. The benefits of my 30-days actually carried me through all of January and most of February. But, late in February I started experiencing much stronger anxiety attacks and had to return to the medicine. I also put on the weight I was so quickly losing.

At the beginning of March I decided to revisit a 30-day trial on exercise just to get me moving again. My back is still sore, I have to be careful, but I am moving every day and I haven't needed my anxiety medicine for about two weeks.

What have I learned?
First, the 30-day trial is an effective method of launching a goal. If you find it a trial is working for you, commit to another 30 days before you the first trial is over. Second, Exercise has almost immediate rewards. I began to feel better within three days on both occasions that I started the 30-day trial. Third, medicine is not the only way to cope with anxiety? Fourth, as I lose weight I become more effective. Therefore, my health is going to be my primary goal for the next year.(More on why it's important to identify a primary goal in another post)

Less=More
I have seen that as I lose weight I become more functional. When there is less of me to carry around,there is more energy in reserve. When there is less anxiety, there is more adventure, more of a willingness to try new activities. In other words, less does equal more.

My plan to make less out of a big man.
I have three long term goals, due date March 21st, 2008:
1. I want to weigh under 180 pounds.
2. I want to be able to run a 10k without stopping. I will prove this by signing up for a 10k that is nearest to this date.
3. I want to be able to sleep without my CPAP. I will sign up for a sleep study to confirm this around the 21st.
4. Establish and maintain a healthful dietary lifestyle, including the consumption of fish 3x's a week. (I have not yet learned to enjoy the taste of seafood)

My mid term goals--to be measured the 21st of each month:
1. Lose 8 pounds per month
2. Increase my ability to run non-stop by 1 kilometer per month.
3. Compare my weight and level of activity to the number of calories required and adjust my menu accordingly. Replacing one non-seafood meal for a seafood meal each month. Until I am eating three seafood meals a week.

My short term goals:My first 30-day trial.
1. Exercise a minimum of 50 minutes per day.
2. Consume less than 3800 calories per day.
3. Eat one seafood meal per week.

I have made many mistakes when it comes to my health. I have been completely negligent,drinking, smoking, over eating. These are obvious pitfalls to avoid. But, what is more dangerous for me are the less obvious pitfalls. I have made the mistake of overexercising and under eating. I have lost weight quickly and gotten sick or injured. This time I am forcing myself to go much slower than I want.

I am currently about 15 days into my first 30-day trial. Here is what I am working on:

My exercise consists of 20 to 30 minutes on a recumbent bicycle first thing in the morning. I will start jogging/walking in the mornings once the temperatures are consistently above freezing. I also walk for a half-hour during my lunch.

I want to make eating a no-brainer. I don't have time to calculate calories each day. So, for breakfast I eat the same thing every morning, a bowl of oatmeal and an egg and cheese muffin (600 calories). I then eat every two hours, either a fruit, a granola bar or one of those self-packaged bowls of soup. By the time I am ready for dinner I have consumed about 1600 calories. This leaves about 2200 calories that I could consume for dinner. This is plenty to spare for just about any sensible meal.

I was just going to judge my success by how my pants fit, but reporting numbers is a little more objective. So, my weight as of 3/23/07 is 275 pounds. I will weigh in next Thursday to see if I have lost two pounds.

Please join me over the next year. Learn from my mistakes and my success. If you wish to join me in a program of your own, or want to lend me your support drop me a a line at jonathanpippenger@gmail.com

Welcome to My Blog-Personal Development Quest

What does a fat man with no money know about personal development?

I have been reading up on personal development (pd) for some time and know that it is time to put that knowledge to use. I figure I have one thing to offer readers that most professionals of personal development can't. The opportunity to witness the effectiveness of personal development principles in action. That is, most professionals have already achieved success and therefore it can be quite intimidating to compare your success to someone that has either already climbed from the trenches or has never been in them.

When I read personal development books and articles written by the latest and greatest guru, I have one question that is usually left unanswered, "What was their life really like before they made the claim that they were successful?" How many of them lived the first 30 years of their life overweight?

How many of them actually dug a hole so deep they felt they couldn't get out? I have lived with obesity for 30 years. I have placed myself in debt and barely make ends meet.

So what makes me qualified to start a personal development site? Nothing...yet. Over the next year I intend to earn that qualification. I will be your pd guinea pig. At this point, I intend only to use ideas already established and readily available.

Four major goals
I am going to focus on four areas of my life that I want to improve. I will break up the actual goals into separate posts as the details will make this first post overly lengthy.

The first is my health. I currently weigh around 275 pounds. I get winded climbing the stairs to go to bed or carrying my 10 month old son to his room. I suffer from constant headaches, backaches, leg cramps, and--worst of all--anxiety attacks. I am certain that all of these physical problems are a direct result of obesity. I also fear that I will not be able to introduce my son to sports, camping and other physical activities if I continue to let my health slide. I feel that if I can achieve this goal it will make all other goals easier to achieve therefore I will make this goal my priority and the setting of this goal will be the subject of my next post.

Next is my finances. I am living paycheck to paycheck. I often have to choose which bills I need to skip for the month and which ones I can pay. I want to retire before I am 65. I would like to do this at the age of fifty. This gives me 20 years to bank enough money to support my wife and I for another 30 years. I also have a 13 year old step-daughter and a ten month old son that will need money for college. I must put a savings plan into action immediately.

Third, I intend to complete a novel. When I imagine what I want for my life five years from now, I picture myself working from home in my office while my son is at school, then when he gets home we have the day to play and explore.

Finally, I want to improve my spiritual life. I spent four years in college wrestling with my faith. In the end, my belief in God prevailed, but I rarely attend church or live my life as a Christian should.

I will develop a detailed goal for each of these areas of my life mentioned above during the next four posts. Each, goal will not only be written with measurable details, but I have placed my name and these goals out for all the world to see. My success or failure will not be hidden. Should I cease to post blogs regularly it can only be assumed that I did not meet my goals with success and I am too embarrassed to admit it. Should I succeed, then I will have a documented success that hopefully will be an inspiration to anyone looking to re-create themselves.